07 Nov 87   Hans Goes Over the Top

Having been trapped in the POW camp, Rene is enlisted in the plan to re-dig the tunnel, by getting rid of the dirt. Hans and the Colonel are playing cricket, though not very well, and Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen are digging their own tunnel into the camp. Monsieur Alphonse arrives at the Cafe to report to Fanny the news that Rene has been captured, but Rene and Company join in on the British prisoners' plan to escape - though only one person can escape in this way. The plan involved a plank laid across a barrel, and Rene leaping on one end (from the top of a shed) to fling the person on the other end out and over the fence. Naturally, the Colonel volunteers Hans for the escape and after numerous attempts actually manages to get over, and is spirited away into the woods by the Resistance.  Meanwhile, Helga reports the situation to Gruber, and together they decide on a plan to rescue the Colonel, the Captain, and Rene, involving Gruber dressing as a nun. Officer Crabtree, though, reports to Alphonse and LeClerc with his own plan, involving everyone escaping in "droon poops". Meanwhile, though, the gang inside join a variety show for the purposes of covering a rather chancy plan of escape.

14 Nov 87   Camp Dance

Dressed as girls from the Foliés Bergeres, the entire gang (the staff and the Germans) escape from the prisoner of war camp, and completely against plans bring the two British airmen with them.  Outside again, the Colonel finds that the Captain is missing; only his glasses are found. The servant girl Maria cannot be found either, and it turns out that she accidentally mailed herself to Switzerland as a Red Cross package.  Herr Flick and von Smallhausen intercept a message from London and try to send their own message, but René catches on and tosses the radio out the window, which leaves the résistance without a means to contact London, until Michelle thinks of the radio in Lieutenant Gruber’s little tank.  But instead of getting new instructions, René and Edith are found out by the Colonel, Helga and Gruber - who finally learn what happened to Hans.

21 Nov 87   Good Staff Are Hard To Find

Since Maria’s disappearance, the café needs another waitress, but René and Edith has somewhat different ideas about who should fill the position, but finally Michelle from the Résistance brings tiny Mimi from another cell, to be René´s bodyguard.  René finds out just how fanatical Mimi is when she tries to poison Herr Flick in the backroom of the café, which René manages to stop.  In the meantime, General von Klinkerhoffen gives the Colonel a new assistant, Italian liaison Bertorelli, who fortunately knows nothing about the painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies or about the affairs with the waitresses, but as soon as Bertorelli enters Café René, he sees the Colonel with wet celery behind his ears. Seeing his chance for amore, he goes upstairs with Mimi only to be thrown out again.

28 Nov 87   The Flying Nun

The Gestapo suspects that the Colonel and the General are in on a plot to assassinate Hitler, so Herr Flick goes undercover as Private Irma Von Kinkenrotten (a secretary to replace Helga, who Flick has kidnapped - though she escape disguised as Flick himself) and plants a somewhat bizarre daffodil-shaped microphone in the Colonel's office, where Gruber and Von Strohm are making plans to get rid of Bertorelli in some way. Meanwhile, as Edith prepares for her wedding, and receives bouquets from fortune-hunting Capt. Bertorelli, Rene & Co. must get the aerial for their new radio above the jamming signal of Herr Flick, so they disguise Mimi as a small nun to obtain a box kite which they fly to contact London and request plastic explosive to blow up the safe in the General's chateau to get the British Invasion plans. Of course, Michelle has to nearly have a nervous breakdown in the Cafe before Rene agrees to this crazy plan. And unfortunately, Monsieur Alphonse catches Yvette and Rene having at it, so he considers Edith "back in play".

05 Dec 87   The Sausage In the Trousers

There is still no batteries for the wireless radio underneath the bed of René´s mother in law, so Michelle’s newest harebrained scheme is to have René and Yvette powering the radio with the generator from a bicycle until the stolen batteries from a German midget submarine are delivered.  Soon, however, Helga comes in, dressed as a Gestapo officer and explains that Herr Flick has disguised himself as a secretary sitting outside the Colonel’s office to hear what the Colonel is up to. The Lieutenant discovers this and the General puts Herr Flick in his dungeon.  The Lieutenant is finished copying the paintings (The Fallen Madonna... and the Van Gogh), and delivers them as sausages. Sausages also comes from Captain Bertorelli (real ones), Monsieur LeClerc (submarine batteries), and Officer Crabtree (explosives), and soon they’re all mixed up in the German officers pants.

12 Dec 87   The Jet-Propelled Mother-In-Law

The Germans arrest René and the Colonel demands an explanation for the knockwursts with explosives in them. After a small lie, René is sent home with around a dozen knockwursts to hang in his kitchen.  The British have sent a spy camera with which the Résistance should be able to photograph the plans for the German invasion of Great Britain, but the camera landed in the vineyard of Monsieur Alphonse´s, and since the Germans commandeered the vineyard, the Résistance cannot go and look for the camera.  This problem is solved when the General orders every peasant in Nouvion to work on the vineyard, which also leaves room for some assassination attempts on the General’s life. The attempts backfire and send Madame Fanny racing through the vine fields on a jet-propelled wheelchair.