05 Dec 86   The Nicked Knockwurst

After the Colonel makes René promise not to hang out with the Résistance anymore, Herr Flick’s sausage (containing the forgery of the painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies) is kidnapped by the Résistance, not the usual Résistance, but the Communist Résistance. The Colonel and the Captain are anxious that it doesn’t come out that they have switched the paintings, and order René to come up with the ransom, which Edith gets from Monsieur Alphonse.  The ransom is to be left by René and his staff, dressed as German soldiers. But the whole thing is watched by German soldiers dressed as French policemen, the Gestapo dressed as French Résistance girls, and the Colonel and the Captain dressed as trees. And of course, Lieutenant Gruber stumbles upon the meeting, and his dog can’t help but chase the sausage.

12 Dec 86   Gruber Does Some Mincing

The sausage containing the (real) painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies by van Clomp, which was taken by Lieutenant Gruber’s dog, is minced by the Lieutenant - but fortunately he discovers it first and saves it. At the same time, the missing knockwurst means that Monsieur Alphonse cannot get back the money which he leant to pay the ransom of the kidnapped sausage. The résistance pays him back with Monsieur LeClerc´s badly forged money. But after everything seems to getting back to normal, the sausage is sent to Lieutenant Gruber to make another copy. Also, Michelle’s latest plan to get the airmen back is by an old plane with the motor from general von Klinkerhoffen´s lawn-mower, which is hidden in the wheelchair of René´s mother in law.

19 Dec 86   The Sausage In the Wardrobe

After Maria is sent to Lieutenant Gruber with the sausage containing the real painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies for copying, she is caught by General von Klinkerhoffen´s, who places the sausage in his wardrobe and holds Maria hostage until his lawn-mover engine is returned by the Résistance.  Herr Flick, the Colonel and the Captain, and René hears about this and decides to go to the chateau through the secret passages and steal the sausage from under the General’s nose, using Helga, Yvette and Lieutenant Gruber as erotic bait. Who will substitute the sausage first?

26 Dec 86   Flight of Fancy

With René again in the possession of the sausage containing the painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies, the attention turns to getting the two British airmen out of France. The problem is that the old airplane that was to be used is in the back of the museum. But Michelle proposes a steam engine tour through Nouvion, and Herr Flick allows it, thinking it’s a good opportunity to observe any foul play.  Michelle’s newest harebrained scheme of getting the airmen out will of course need 80 meters of suspenders, and its René´s job to get them from every Frenchman in Nouvion, which he does under the noses of the Colonel and the Captain through his newly founded brotherhood of the Nightowl.  Herr Flick and Helga arrive in his staff car to spy on the show, and The Colonel and the Captain arrive in a steamroller, also to spy on what’s happening - and the result is pretty obvious, which prevents them from see the spectacular failure of the launching of the airmen. The suspenders that was supposed to drag the plane up in the air with a car backfires, sending René backwards at breakneck speed.

02 Jan 87   Pretty Maids All In A Row

After the plot to get the two British airmen out failed, Maria disguises them as waitresses at the café. Meanwhile, a frustrated René returns to the painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies. He hides it behind an ugly painting in his café which is immediately recognized by General von Klinkerhoffen as a Van Gogh and requisitioned for his office in the chateau. He also requisitions the two new maids in Café René - or as they are better known: the two British airmen in disguise.  Realizing that the two airmen will be recognized right away, Michelle of the Résistance comes up with another harebrained scheme of digging a tunnel from Monsieur Alphonse´s morgue into the prisoner of war camp and smuggling in the two airmen into the camp.  To get the airmen to Monsieur Alphonse, Edith comes up with a typical French Saturday pastime: a fandango festival which ends in the husband running away with two ladies of the night and the wife killing them. Using the Captain’s gun, loaded with blanks, Madame Edith "kills" the two airmen dressed as hookers in front of a shocked Captain Geering.

09 Jan 87   The Great Un-Escape

While the Captain is sitting in the café, sulking because the Colonel is not talking to him since Edith used the Captain’s gun to shoot two tarts the night before; Herr Flick from the Gestapo is listening when René is talking to London on the wireless. He soon cracks the code surrounding the message with the plan to dig a tunnel from the mortuary to hide the British airmen.  But it’s soon apparent that the two airmen and Monsieur Alphonse need help with the digging, and the café staff is called in, leaving Madame Fanny and LeClerc in the café. But the Colonel and the Captain follow René, discover the tunnel, and are captured in the prisoner of war camp, where the General is about to perform an inspection...