14 Sep 84   The Fallen Madonna

The Colonel & the Captain mull over their situation and decide they should probably hand over Rene and the painting to the Gestapo in order to get rid of Herr Flick. But Rene convinces them that they could hand over a forged copy of the painting instead (with the assistance of a conveniently-located forger), and gets them to lend their uniforms to the escaping British officers so the Brits can take the painting to England to be forged.  Meanwhile, everyone keeps handing Rene poison pills "to make it easier", Herr Flick decides his relationship with Helga should include an intimate dinner in Rene's back room, and Hans figures out that putting cheese in one's ears improves the sound of Madame Edith's singing.

21 Sep 84   Pigeon Post

After the Colonel´s and the Captain´s uniforms are borrowed by the British airmen, and later burned, they will have to send for replacement uniforms. Supplied by Michelle are carrier pigeons, which madame Edith accidentally cooks and serves to Herr Otto Flick.

28 Sep 84   Saville Row To The Rescue

The Colonel & the Captain and Herr Flick are all disguised as onion sellers while the German uniforms are being remade by the Jewish tailors of London. Michelle delivers a bottle of nitroglycerin disguised as a bottle of Bols Gin to hide in the Cafe until they come to fetch it that night to blow up a German railway. But thinking it's gin, Edith begins spreading the nitro around - to her mother and the hens in the back. Although they attempt to get their spare uniforms, the Colonel and the Captain find that they have been sent to Paris for cleaning and are not available. Which makes them desperate, as they have found out that General Von Klinkerhoffen, the famously hard-nosed German General, is coming to visit the next morning.  The German officers insist on joining Rene and company when they go out on their expedition that night - the Resistance is heading out to blow up the railway with the gin, but first they intend to rendezvous with a plane from England, which is reportedly bringing the new German uniforms, and will take back the painting (to be forged) and the two airmen (effecting their escape). Luckily, the Germans being along is a help when they need to get past an unexpected sentry; unluckily, the plane that arrives is carrying not the uniforms, but a tailor to do a fitting - and is only a two-seater, so it can't take the airmen back with it...

05 Oct 84   The Execution

Hans mistakes the nitro for gin and accidentally blows up the railway himself! The Germans capture Rene, Yvette, and the peasant-disguised Colonel and Captain. As Helga, Leclerc, and Edith each attempt to help the gang escape, General Von Klinkerhoffen arrives in town and demands that the only known saboteur be shot. This means - Rene's death by firing squad, with Lieutenant Gruber in charge of the squad!

12 Oct 84   The Funeral

René tries to go back to his normal life after his fake execution, posing as his twin brother, also named René, but the funeral arrangements are difficult when there is no body, Monsieur LeClerc is cheaper than the regular priest and the coffin is filled with anti-tank bombs.

19 Oct 84   Reds Nick Colonel

The communist résistance wants to make a martyr out of the dead René, and kidnaps the Colonel and the Captain. To make matters worse, they offer them on a platter to René´s twin brother René, so that he can shoot them.

26 Oct 84   The Dance of the Hitler Youth

The Colonel´s birthday party becomes a perfect opportunity for getting the real painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies back from Herr Flick of the Gestapo, and substituting it with the forgery that was made earlier. The plan is to not invite Herr Flick but make sure that he hears about the big Binge - a traditional feast with genuine Bavarian dances featuring girls dressed as the Hitler Youth - so that he will have to come. In the meantime, René and Edith are supposed to walk into the office of Herr Flick and substitute the real with the fake. Of course, they fail - which means that Herr Flick now both has the fake and the original plus a second forgery, which he commissioned on his own in order to have money for his marriage with Helga after the war...